Kicking the Habit


I don't know. I think..and this is just a theory..I think that not having a regular sex partner makes me cruise for sex more often..which leads to more and more anonymous sex: sex with guys...that I meet once, bang and never see again.

It's not exactly a strategy for long lasting relationships. You know that most of the guys that you're going to meet and just fuck, aren't typically going to be the ones that you're going to end up in some kind of relationship with. I mean, if you walk into someone's apartment, never really getting to know someone, and only see their asshole, fuck 'em and leave, there's not much basis for a long lasting association.

Plus, I'm finding that anonymous sex is addictive. It seems, maybe because it's fulfilling mentally, that I'm looking for it more and more. The more I fuck, the more I look to fuck. It's not what I's what I'm getting. I'd much rather be in some kind of regular thing with one guy..ok, maybe two.  But that's hard to find.

I have been chatting with someone from Adam. As it turns out, he changed his screen name, so based on his picture on there, I emailed him. He has a hot body, and I didn't recognize him until he IMed me on AIM and then, unlocked his pictures. Then, I realized, he's a guy that I met once, and fucked. He had a hot body back then, but obviously, has been working out very hard. He's got an even hotter body now.

The one thing that kinda threw me off, was when I met him that once, his eyebrows were so manicured..very thin. And I got freaked (yes, eyebrows freak me). I really don't know why anyone would sculpt them so much that they look so odd.

Anyway, he mentioned that we should "hang again"  and by "hang" I assumed he meant sex. I agreed. But then he said we can't have sex..not just yet. "Let's do dinner" he said.

Anyway, a date sounds good at this point. Maybe something good will come of it. Maybe it's time to kick the habit.

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