Here I am

It's been a rough few weeks. I don't want to get into too much detail to keep my identity safe so some details will be intentionally sketchy.

Prior to the hurricane, there was a fire in my house, big enough to cause us to spend a few days in a hotel. We were just recovering from that tragedy when we were blindsided by the hurricane. Over a foot of water was in my house. Not just rain water, not shower water..no..couldn't be that easy. It was dirty, stinking sewage water and salt water from an ocean surge never before seen by the Northeast. The "100 year storm" they're saying - one that only gets seen once every 100 years.  I was on the Titanic..you know the scene where the water is coming into the ship from everywhere? Electrical outlets busting with water? Doors collapsing under the pressure of the sea? That was me.

The cleanup is still in progress, and will last for a number of months. Some of our possessions, furniture, appliances have been destroyed, but we are able to live in the bedrooms of our house on the upper floors and avoid the destroyed areas.  But, we were without power, heat and electric for over 15 days. 15 days of candlelight, flashlights..and battery operated radios.  Yes, there were many fun family times, playing games by candlelight, or dinners out as a respite, but there were also many times frustrated in line waiting for gas for 2 or more hours to fill a generator that provided us with one working refrigerator and not much else, sleeping in coats and hats because it was below 40 degrees in our house and wondering what we would eat for days at a time.  There were stories of shootings, looting and robberies.  Our street, our whole neighborhood, hell, our entire shoreline, was in total, pitch black darkness at night.  Some moved out of town..others, like myself and my family, stuck it out with little place to go and fear of leaving and not having the gas to return or returning to find our home further destroyed.

It makes me wonder: this was a category 1 hurricane.  What would a category 2 be? 3? A nuclear bomb set off in the metropolitan area? What would the gas lines be then? How calm would the people be waiting on line for food and necessities of life? 

But, I don't want to be too dramatic..there are many people..far too many people in worse shape than me. Some lost their entire home. Some still are without heat or hot water. Those are the people I still hurt for...

Yes, I'm here..but am I back? I still don't know for sure.