"Don't be afraid to ask me anything" David emails me back. "No I never got married. My childhood and family was rather dysfunctional. It left a nasty taste in my mouth. That and other reasons left me with a bitter taste for marriage. How about you?""Well, being from a dysfunctional family doesn't determine how good a father or husband you'll be." I tell him. "Me? I'm married..20 years. Two kids."
I didn't ask him if he was gay, bi or whatever. I don't think after almost 30 years that it was my right to infringe on his personal life like that - even though he opened the door by saying "that and other reasons" line. After all..this wasn't about sex...it was about apologizing, about saying sorry...it was about closure.
I start another email to him:
"Anyway...I don't want to keep you. Like I said I've always wondered what became of you - and I think I owe you somewhat of an apology - I missed work that last night but it really wasn't intentional - I believe I was seriously wasted that day and honestly really forgot that I had to work.
"Maybe all this sounds stupid - maybe you never gave it a second thought. But over the years I thought about how nice a gesture that night was - or would have been and how callous or uncaring I may have seemed. But I was a young, scared (wasted) kid.
Anyway, if you're by me, I think I owe you a slice. ;) "
His response:
"First of all, it's great to hear from you. I too often wondered what happened to you. Second, you don't owe me an apology. We were both young, trying to figure out which end was up. I don't hold grudges. I hope we continue to keep in touch and will take you up on that slice if I make it by your way."
So, there it is. A conclusion. Maybe something that will clear my head from 30 years ago. David was totally mature about it..and understandably so, after all these years. Maybe it didn't mean that much to him that I blew him off..but I think, back then, it probably did. I know I felt bad..and now that bad feeling is gone.At least this one small thing in my life..I can absolve.
Closure.
