Humpity Grumpity


Wanted to share a letter I received of gratitude from The Grumpy King. He wrote to me about my unsolicited blog post I wrote last week about his blog. He was pleased....

You're a Fucking Prick!
Okay, that's not entirely true. But I did find you pushy and all with your whole, "add me and I'll add you" noise -- which frankly, I still don't understand it when bloggers offer that. I haven't done the link exchange a lot. The blogs I've added, I've done so because I like them so I added them without asking for any kind of exchange because it just feels like the right thing to do. 

I don't want to pimp anything to my readers that I don't fully endorse. So yeah I think anyone's an asshole if they're not willing to do the same.

Well... I did anyway. 
After reading your post about TGK I think you're the coolest dude and a lot like the boys I hang with. This newfound affection for you has little to do with the promotion itself but more so because of the way in which you did it.

First, I thought it was well written and I loved the way you grabbed different quotes to illustrate your points. I also loved the way you talked about not necessarily agreeing with everything but understanding the reasons behind 'em.  I imagine this took some time and investigation on your part and I can't fully express how honored I am that you did it. I loved the way your point of view was complex and not simply all gushy or one sided.

So I'm guessing you're not one sided either. I hope it's obvious that we are a lot alike in that way. I am often reduced to being an asshole - which I'm cool with because those people lack the intelligence or interest in diving a bit deeper to discover there's more behind it all. So while I bob and weave to avoid the stones others may throw at me, I look down and discover my own fistful of stones. 

Dude I fucking dig you. I love surprises. I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE SURPRISE ME. (It happens so rarely.) You're smart and I love smart. You're clever and I love clever. I really, really dig that shit and I really, really dig you for it. 

I am grateful for the review of sorts and I'm going to link back to it next week. I'm also gonna try and do the same thing for your blog because I've got a lot of married guys following me and while I'm sure they've already discovered you -- I want to make sure everyone has. [I'll ask that if there a few key posts that sum up your point of view or would serve my readers, email their titles/links because with so much content to on your blog, I don't want to miss the right one.]

The coolest of all is discovering that along with your prick-ness, you're also an intelligent, funny nigga' with an INCREDIBLY SEXY BRAIN. Dude, I'm so, so grateful to you for allowing me to see that -- being an asshole myself, I would've prolly missed that. 

So like it or not, you my boy, my nigga' and I'm grateful for the experience. I'd apologize for my initial opinion of you but that wouldn't fit into my asshole-ness and I wouldn't want to disappoint you. You the shit bro. And I'm happy to have met you. 


My response:

You're so funny...
I thought at first reading of your email that I somehow insulted you...that obviously wasn't my intention..but also, it wouldn't be the first time I had insulted someone without intent.

At first meeting, i can seem to be unapproachable, stuck up, and rude.   That's often because I'm sarcastic, critical and may seem unsympathetic.  But it's also because of the "wall" that I have built around me to protect myself and my family from discovering my relationships with other men. Keeping someone distant comes easily to me since getting close to someone is almost impossible lest they find out about my sexual preferences.  Maybe that's why initially you thought I was a prick.

But, when someone gets to know me for who I am, I think I'm very sensitive, caring and definitely emotional. Seeing my kids excel easily brings a tear to my does my favorite team winning the big game (good luck with that with me being a met fan) or a good episode of undercover boss.

See, unfortunately, I'm never as I really am...I'm undercover, guarded, and protective....

But I do appreciate good writing, and emotion from others. I felt the pain and emotion in your writing that day..and I take it as my job (a poorly paid one at that) to let my readers know when I see something worthy..whether you were a friend or enemy (and I never considered you an enemy).  I didn't write that stuff about you or your blog for any benefit. I wrote it because I benefited from reading it and I thought others would too. I think its important to have empathy for others even though your experiences may be different..ultimately we all are having a similar struggle.

Thanks for the gushes..its kind of you and probably undeserved....

Who da King now? ;)

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