Begin Again: "Family Time"


(Originally posted 8/20/2009)

I can't really remember when I was with a man next after David. I'm sure there were a few relatively sane meetings with guys during the next few years. My feelings never really changed about men..or women. I was interested in both but really only acted sexually with women.
During graduate school, I met my wife. I'll leave out the intimate details, but suffice it to say, to this day, she is still as sweet, kind and generous as any woman I've ever met. She's a great wife, mother and friend. We married a few years after graduation and started a family thereafter. We have two great boys who are the reason for my being.

The dichotomy of family life and my bi-sexual side is a strange one. I am totally closeted. Nobody would ever know I'm into guys. I'm masculine, athletic, play sports, had a reputation as a girl-killer (in a good way). However, I'm totally into being with them, kissing them, touching them and hanging with them. I get a connection with another man that's simply different that with my wife. Its easier, more erotic and fun that with any other person could be.

However, being the baseball coach, father figure, and loving husband makes it difficult to act on these feelings. I suppose there may be alot of fathers in my situation. That is why I am writing this blog.

I also suppose there must be deep rooted reasons why I am attracted to men, beyond the hide and go seek games with my neighbors. I also believe it has consequences on my personality and my happiness with life. Let's explore...

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