Let Me In


So, what makes me bi?

I guess that's a difficult question to answer. I mean, after all, for the past 18 or so years, I haven't had sex with another woman other than my wife, and even in the past 3 years or so..haven't had sex with any woman including my wife. Is that a factor of me getting my fill with other guys? or me, in fact, being gay?

It's hard to say. I do have attraction to other women, I can definitely appreciate a hot girl, and I'm sure I would be able to get hard, and have sex with a woman. Well, then why don't I have sex with my wife anymore? Hmm..I guess having her as a guest writer on here is out of the question, so, I'll have to answer that question on my own.

Sex with my wife, after kids were born became..boring, matter of fact, and more work than it was worth. Not only was I sick of asking for it, and being the one to initiate it, but, kids made the time available to have sex almost impossible. We were also exhausted. Our schedules started not to coincide..I'd be up very early for the gym and work and she'd be up late at night doing..basically nothing..watching TV while I slept.

Then, there was the interest factor. Sex changes when you get married and have kids. I think most women actually use sex as a weapon.  First to reel in the man, get him interested, get married, have kids, then..it becomes a chore for them. Of course I generalize, I'm sure there are many actively sexual married women out there, but if you speak to most married men..they will say that sex isn't what it used to be. No more blow jobs, no more 69s, nothing exciting or different. The passion leaves as does the interest. Why do you think up to 70% of married men have some kind of extra-marital affair? (infidelitystats.html).

It became frustrating that it was put on me  Sometimes, my wife would ask "Why Don't we have sex anymore?" What am I to say: "Because you lay there like a lox?" "Because you've let yourself go physically?" "Because you don't initiate it more often?" "Because sex with you is boring, uninteresting and as far from hot and passionate as sex can be?"  Any of those answers would likely get me maimed, killed, or worse yet..divorced!

It was fortunate and a bit odd that sex with my wife ended completely when I began having sex somewhere else and that somewhere was with Ross. Until that point, sex was infrequent..from weekly, to monthly, to every other month.....to never. I had always had attraction to men. But now, I could satisfy that attraction and also have that hot, amazing passionate sex that I had been missing for so long.  Guys, or at least the guys I have been with, don't match sex up with household chores, money issues, responsibilities. We want to have sex. Fuck the chores, money and other issues. Let's have fun, let's enjoy this moment. We don't necessarily use sex as a tool to get other things or as revenge. We want sex despite our anger (and maybe sex is more passionate because we're angry)!

So, I went from having sex exclusively with a woman, to sex with a woman and a man, to sex only with a man. Is that a transition from Heterosexual, to Bisexual to Gay? I don't think so. I think it's a matter of opportunity, of desire, and of sexual survival. In actuality, if I weren't having sex with another man..I wouldn't be having sex at all. Would that make me a-sexual? No.

By some strange rationalization, I've decided that having sex with another woman would be wrong..it would be cheating on my wife - not that having sex with a man isn't cheating, but, sex with a woman would be getting something that my wife could easily provide. Having sex with a man is different. Can't wait to explain that to St. Peter at the gates of heaven:

"Well Pete, you see, I never had sex with another woman once I married." I'd say.
"Ah, so you were faithful." he would say as he opened the gates.
"Well, not exactly" I'd say..as I watched the gate stop opening. "I did have sex with men..numerous men..hot men..too many men to mention." I'd finally divulge.
"Don't you think that was being dishonest, unfaithful and an act of infidelity?" The Saint would ask as he closed the gate shut.
"Pedro, have you never had a desire to see what it was like to get a blow job from another man, have sex with him? I'd question.
"I haven't succumbed to such evilness" he would say.
At that point, I'd rub his ass, lift his shroud and suck his cock until he bursts with pleasure in my mouth.
 At that point, the gate would open and  I'd get a wink, a waive and maybe he'd stick his number in the palm of my hand.

I know it's wrong..it's obvious. Me saying sex with a man was OK, since it wasn't with another woman is tantamount to Bill Clinton's proclamation and rationalization that oral sex wasn't "sex".

Anyway, given the opportunity, if I wasn't married, I'm sure I would have sex with other women as well as continue my sexual fun with men. Who you have sex with at the moment doesn't necessarily define what you are (Straight, Bisexual or Gay)..it only opens the possibilities of your sexual proclivity.

See you in Hell Bill.

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