World's Sexiest Man

Friday

 
He may have bared (almost) all of that incredibly chiseled body in this year's Magic Mike but 2012's Sexiest Man Alive Channing Tatum was still modest when he heard the news.

"My first thought was, 'Y'all are messing with me,'" says Tatum, who married actress Jenna Dewan-Tatum in 2009. "I told Jenna after we'd been in the bathtub washing our dogs because they'd gotten skunked."

Says the actor: "She was like, 'What?'"

"Yeah, she calls me [the Sexiest Man Alive] now," he adds. And who can blame her?

Her Alabama-bred heartthrob of a husband is also a sculptor who quotes Edgar Allan Poe, loves to give her massages and can't wait to start their family. "I'm ready; I think she's ready," Tatum, 32, says. "The first number that pops into my head is three, but I just want one to be healthy and then we'll see where we go after that."

"It’s really easy for us guys to say, 'I want like 15 kids,'" he continues. "Jenna will be like, 'Well you better get another wife!'"

Currently training to play an Olympic athlete in next year's Foxcatcher, Tatum is all heart and muscle at 195 pounds. "I like to be lean. If I get too bulky I can't move well and I like to move," he says. "When I'm not training, I get really round and soft."

Which is just fine by his wife. "People know him to be fun and sexy, but they don't know how emotionally deep and spiritually open he is," says Dewan-Tatum, 31. "He is such an open-hearted person; what you see is what you get."

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And now...the story you haven't heard...

The Onion.com

The Onion is proud to announce that North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un, 29, has officially been named the newspaper’s Sexiest Man Alive for the year 2012.

With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.

“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” Onion Style and Entertainment editor Marissa Blake-Zweibel said. “And that’s the quality that makes him the sort of man women want, and men want to be. He’s a real hunk with real intensity who also knows how to cut loose and let his hair down.”

Added Blake-Zweibel, “Ri Sol-ju is one lucky lady, that’s for sure!”

With today’s announcement, Kim joins the ranks of The Onion’s prior “Sexiest Man Alive” winners, including:
  • 2011: Bashar al-Assad
  • 2010: Bernie Madoff
  • 2009: Charles and David Koch (co-winners)
  • 2008: Ted Kaczynski
  • 2007: T. Herman Zweibel
 

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