Apples and Oranges


I originally didn't intend to respond to a comment made by someone last week  I thought originally that it wasn't worth my breath. I'm also starting to feel that this is getting into a pissing match and also, going way beyond what I want this blog to do. Thinking about makes me angry..makes me a little pissed that I have to deal with it and on occasion..makes me think I should shutter my blog.

I had written about how I felt after finally speaking to some guy on the phone that I chatted with on the internet and that I could hardly understand this guy (A Little Foreign). He was obviously not born in the United States, and had quite the accent. Although I mentioned that he was Hispanic, I didn't disparage Hispanics, or foreigners.  I did mentioned however, how I thought it was annoying to talk to someone who didn't speak English clearly.

The response I got from Drew was as follows:

"I am not trying to be rude of insensitive but after reading your posts over many months I have come to the conclusion that you are the way you are because you are jewish. What I mean by that is I have found that some jewish people can be very inflexible, frank and very opinionated. I see some of this in you. I don't have any problems with jewish people. I admire them for what they have had to deal with and I am a supporter of Israel, but having done business with them for over 30 years I have some experience with their personalities. Just an opinion. Let me put on my bullet proof vest!! ;-)"

That comment concerned me. I re-read my post. Could I have possibly come off as mean or racist - anti-Hispanic? Anti-foreigner? I looked at the post and determined, despite my opinion (yes this is MY blog, I think people come here to read MY opinions, so I'm entitled to be opinionated) I don't think my post was mean-spirited. I even said, from the beginning of the post, that "I don't have an issue with a guy if he's Latin, black, Indian or Asian."  I went on in that post to say "But, when someone talks and I gotta say "huh?" every two minutes..that's not sexy to me. Even some people who supposedly were born here have a hard time speaking clearly. It's almost annoying."  The post clearly wasn't about being Spanish or foreign, it was just about people who speak incomprehensibly.

I think my blog, fuck, any blog is based on someone's opinions. Even if the blog isn't journalistic, like mine, and just pictures, the pictures are an opinion of what the blogger feels is hot, or what he believes his readers will think is hot.  How are you not supposed to be opinionated when writing about your thoughts? If you don't like my opinions, then hell, don't read!

To say a group, whether they be Jewish, Black, Italian, Irish, whatever say that they have a certain negative characteristic is really racist despite the fact that you've worked with them, or one lives next door to you, or you have one as a best friend. If you didn't think you were about to say something bad you wouldn't have qualified it with saying that it isn't your intention to insult someone. Just like when people say things like "with all due respect" or "not to be condescending" they usually are about to say something disrespectful or condescending.

None of us, including me, are immune to opinions and stereotypes about others. It's a result of nature and nurture. It's how we are all raised, educated, and socialize. I remember when I first went to college. College brings together people from all over the country, and even the world. There were people there who had never seen a black person, a Muslim person, a gay person and yes, even a Jew. They looked at me and were staring. Eventually, I confronted them: what were they looking at? What was the problem?

"You're Jewish, right? they said.
"Yes I am" I responded. and then....
"Well, where are your horns? I thought all Jews had horns?"

I was shocked. How could someone be so stupid? I bent my head down, parted my hair. I showed them, I don't have horns, they're not there, I promise, I'm just like you. I think these people, after coming to know me, and us becoming friends, that they realized that stereotyping people just comes from ignorance.

There are all kinds of people in every ethnicity and religious background. No person in each group is exactly alike. The only thing that binds them together is their religious practices or their skin color - personalities differ. Yes, there are many Jewish people who are inflexible, frank and opinionated. But, there are just as many who have the same characteristics who are Black, Asian, Muslim, Christian or any other group.  It's the "single apple spoiling the whole barrel" concept: yes, you're going to meet people who are "bad" or have "bad character" but that doesn't mean that all similar people are bad. To level such statements against a protected class is discrimination.

When I write on this blog, and people read it, I'm hoping they're entertained..and also, maybe what I write is thought provoking. I also hope they're saying, "I did that" or "I feel that way" or "Me too." I'm trying to build a bridge, not drive people away, and certainly, not incite antisemitism. It's kind of why I titled it "Bi Like Me." We have stuff in common, hopefully, and that's what brings you back for more, and keeps me writing.

When you come to my blog, it should be for a bit of fun, something interesting, because I write from the same vein. I could be white, I could be black. I could be Christian, Jewish or Muslim. It shouldn't matter.  Yea, I'm going to say things that you disagree with, as you will say things that I disagree with in the comments. I don't shy away from criticism.

But when it gets hurtful, or hateful, when it gets to be mean and harassing, hell, I can go out to the world, and find that everyday, everywhere.

I don't need to come here for that, and neither do you.

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