Begin Again: "A Real Love"


(Originally posted 8/29/2009)
My ideal scenario is to find someone in the same situation as me. Married, bisexual, dating a girl, something around there. Interested in being "buddies", friends..I mean real friends. Best friends. Be able to trust each other with everything, even our deepest, darkest secret. Well, about two years ago, again, the Internet brought me a gift. It was tall, lean, dark, model cute, and young. He was the epitome of A&F. Ross was 25 years younger than me. YES! TWENTY-FIVE YEARS YOUNGER! Just in case you didn't hear me. lol

Ross was 18 when I met him, soon to turn 19. We chatted online and he agreed to have me call him the next day. When I did call him, there was no answer. None. Blow off! I thought. Well, after about a two week period, where I am on vacation, I get an email from Ross. What happened? Where are you? I hardly remembered him, but figured out this is the guy that I thought blew me off. As it turned out, Ross overslept that day. We decided to meet.

When Ross pulled up in that parking lot, he looked nothing like the pic he sent me via email. He was even better looking. He obviously was using a fake pic, but even that didn't do him justice. That night, we hung out talking in his car and for the next two years, Ross and I were inseparable. We worked out together daily, chatted though out the day, met after work almost daily, met for dinners or lunches, and talked on the phone and texted each other constantly. He was perfect.

I got peripherally involved in Ross' business. We ended up traveling on "business trips" which were probably some of the best times I've ever had. We laughed, got drunk, had the hottest sex ever, and to this day, I'm thankful for that email he sent wondering what happened to me. Ross and I were truly best friends, with dark secrets. He knew my family, I knew his. Yet, when we were alone, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

I remember once we were in some desolate location in the middle of America. Somewhere no one would know us. We were alone, we were horny and we were in love. We stopped by a restaurant for dinner and drinks, or drinks and dinner, more accurately.

We sat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant. As we got drunker, we got more and more obvious. I couldn't keep my hands off him. Under the table we'd play footsie...or we'd be sitting so close our arms or our legs would be touching. At that point, I couldn't care who saw us, who was looking. We were truly anonymous. It was an amazing feeling. We stumbled back to our room, showered and hit the sheets for another amazing night of making out and sex.

Being with Ross, it was the first time I had ever "longed for" a guy, desired, had to have, anticipated being with. I mean, when I felt so worked up, so horny for him, that I had to have him...kiss him, touch him, smell him, suck him and be with him. I had sucked off guys before and tasted cum before but with some trepidation. With Ross, shit, sometimes I WANTED it in my mouth..and swallow it all. NOW THAT'S LOVE! It was the feeling that I wanted to do anything for him, and the feeling was mutual.
There was the time that I felt that anything included having him fuck me. I wanted it because he wanted it, or so he said. I wanted it because I wanted him to know that I would do anything he desired and what's good for the goose is good for the gooser. I could do that, couldn't I? uh, maybe, maybe not.

We tried..I tried, valiantly I tried, I tell ya! I remember we were on one of our many trips. Our trips were like playing house. We'd shave together in the morning, take showers together morning and night, sleep together in the same bed, and then when we left our room, we were totally about work. We had our way of letting the other know we were thinking about non-work things though-- a wink here, the stare there, a brush up against each other when no one was looking, but no one else knew or suspected.

One evening, after work, we hit the showers, as usual. I love showering with another guy, totally hot in more than one way. Something about sharing the intimacy of an event that is typically alone time. Anyway, we soaped up, I soaped him, and soaped my ass and leaned over. "SHYYITT! FUUUCK!" I screamed as he tried to put his big cock in my ass, I almost fucking knocked him to the ground like a mugger. I fucking saw stars and was holding my ass for dear life. No fucking way your going to try to shove that thing in me again! Don't even think about it! So much for the gooser. I AM NOT A BOTTOM!

But, despite that, Ross and I had a very special relationship. Something I've been searching for, dreaming about for my whole life. Ross and I were in love, we promised each other we'd be there for each other forever. We talked about the future, about having a place, believe it or not. And I for one, believed it all.

More soon :)

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