Bernie Dance


Somehow my wife always has plenty of money. You know..those new pair of shoes she bought with "her money". The new belt that she was dying to have that "she" was able to buy.  The sale that she just couldn't pass up - and she had to buy something and used "her funds". Hers? Seriously?

She does have her that we've agreed (reluctantly) that she will keep as her own for those things that only women seem to require. But, it's not nails, hair, makeup requirements..those apparently are not defined as the "requirement" under the Webster Women's Dictionary. No..those are necessities..and apparently, you don't seem to understand the intricacies of the word "requirement."  Somehow, that money..that small stash she has selfishly kept for herself..must be invested with some very knowledgeable people because it seems to grow incredibly!

But, I know..and now you'll know that the money doesn't really's not really invested with some brainiac of an investor. She makes it adding the money she she gets when she goes to the food store and adds fifty or so on the ATM debit as a cash advance. Or when she buys the kids sneakers and adds a $20 spot here or there. That's apparently how she earns her money.

You see..all the money I earn goes in one bank account: our account. It pays for, shelter, the credit card bills, household expenses. It has become "our money." I don't know that it's fair or not...but, I guess..her money..the money she gets from her part-time job, also goes into an account which we have designated for a special purpose. Just like my should go in there every week.

I know my friends have opened up separate accounts of some sort. Some have done it without their wives approval or knowledge.  That's not how I wanted to do things..never has been the way we do things. But, he who makes the most money should have the control, no? I mean, I feel like I should be the one who says, "no that's too expensive" or "no, we can't buy that now" or "we've got to cut down on this or that."  If it was up to my wife, we'd go out for dinner every weekend. But, someone has to be sane..someone has to be level headed. Someone..the guy making the money..should be the one who says "yes" or "no".

One day, I noticed a few missing weeks in her deposits. What the fuck? I put it lightly..I- FUCKING-RATE! (irate) - and she heard it loud and clear. I felt betrayed...felt cheated. I mean, I'm putting my money into our account. She should have been doing the same. But apparently, she stole (yes, I used that word) that money from me, from our family..for what? Shoes? A belt? Another piece-of-shit bracelet? I think it's the most angry I had ever been at all our years of marriage.

Then, I noticed the ATM thing..the bills being more by the cash advances. That's how she buys things with "her money".

It's a fucking Ponzi Scheme of the highest order.

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