Soft White Underbelly


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Rodney Dangerfield was famous for saying "I get no respect", but I could obviously say that too.

My readers..mostly dedicated readers, I assume, come back, day after day, read this blog, comment...yet, they don't get it...and I still don't get any respect from most.

Not that I'm demanding respect..but, you'd think, after all this time, that some of you out there would understand. I've chatted or emailed with some of my detractors, and they've said things like:  "Wow, you are a nice guy" or "I'm surprised..I always thought you were a dick, but...."  I'm not looking to make friends here. My purpose was and I guess to this day, is to have a place to vent. To have a little anonymous corner of the world to say what I want, to do what I want and express my convoluted, disorganized, and fucked up feelings. It's not to have you love me, it's not to have you have a drink with me. It's purely selfish: I want to put my feelings down on paper.

But, the blog has evolved, of course. It's become a place where others can express themselves too. It's become a venue where people can comment and criticize..and hopefully constructively, we can all learn. But, of course, there are those readers..not just readers of my blog, but every blog who only know how to respond with hate (even Frat Star has received such hate mail). We all know who these commenters are: anonymous socially inept cowards who are house bound serial loners who are angry at the world and take it out on people who have more normal lives than them.

If I come here and write about what a wonderful weekend I had picking daises in a field with my wife - you guys would click that big red "X" in the upper right hand corner to jump out of here and get to the next salacious blog all you sex fiends follow. It's not interesting. "Oh, we had a lovely meal at a neighborhood restaurant together. We danced at an affair, we drank and laughed." Booooorrrring.

And who does that help? Me? No. To put down on paper (or screen) all the happy thoughts of my marriage is not something that is interesting to read and it doesn't expose the issues and thoughts that people confront everyday. Hey, nobody reads Dear Abby (or whoever is writing that column these days) or watching Dr. Drew because they want to hear about a happy day someone had, or someone who's completely sober who hasn't had a drink in years. That doesn't necessarily bring ratings or viewers - and it's Booooorrrrring!
So, don't expect me to write about the bottle of wine I shared with my wife this weekend, or how we went shopping for gifts for the kids together, or went to the mall to pick out new towels together.  Do those things happen? Absolutely. Despite what some of you think, I'm not a wife batterer. She's not locked in a closet right now..she isn't shackled in the kitchen cooking and cleaning all day. She's got a damn fine life. She's got many friends. She's smart. And if she wasn't happy? She'd have left long I must be doing something right.

There is a soft side to me..maybe one that doesn't come across to some because my blog doesn't reflect hum-drum daily life occurrences. I cry at award ceremonies for my kids..I listen to music (sometimes during exercise classes) and it reminds me of my wife and I well-up.  I've thrown the surprise parties, bought the gifts, spend family time and vacations, just like any married man does.  But, I'm a man after all...and get the typical "you're not romantic anymore" statements from my wife that I'm sure other men have received. Some here have encouraged me to speak about my wife - but, whenever I do, I get lambasted. There's no middle ground..I can get no respect.

I think, just like any married man, or any man in general, we're often confused about the opposite sex. Their mentality, their habits, the priorities they have. It's what causes my marriage and others. It's why they often say "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars". We're different creatures.

If I come here complaining about her cooking, or her's because maybe it was an argument we had that week. Or maybe it's something that ticked me off. Yes, this is an unfair forum - she doesn't have the ability to respond to the comments I've made here - that would be interesting (having her respond on the blog) but it also ain't happening.  I've tried to recruit a woman writer for this blog - and that search continues..because I think it would create a great dynamic on adding Frat Star has done.  But that woman will never be my wife. Sorry!

But, that's what this blog is - my views - it's not a democracy.  It's not a forum where two people fight out their differences for all to see like a real-time marriage counseling session.  

Bi Like Me is what it is - love it, hate it..or indifferent.


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