We left the restaurant and headed back to my car, and I was to drive him back to his parked car. Again, it would be routine of us to hit a motel after..two drunken, in love, horny guys, aching to touch one another..barely able to stumble into the motel room before we ripped each others clothes off and had sex, before falling asleep in each others arms...until one of us jumped out of bed screaming that we had to get out and get home.I drove him to his car. Stopped next to it in the parking lot.
"Really great seeing you, Ross" I said.
"Yea, was great. Should do this more often." he responded.
"Well, it's always been up to you..it's gotta be your call. I'm here, I'm here for you..but, you need to let me know when you're available." I said.
"Anyway, I gotta get home..." as I stuck out my hand for a shake.
As he shook my hand..he held it..and it lingered after the initial ..squeeze. It was no longer a squeeze..no longer a shake..it became a soft, short hold..until..
"I don't get a hug?" he asked.
"Sure" I responded, and we embraced.
We hugged, as friends...and it was nice. I wasn't going to do it..it wasn't going to happen. I was sure of it..resigned to it..
He opened the door and left.
Of course...I wanted more...but, it was the ending that I needed.
I love the guy, but I no longer can be in love with him.
