Newton's Apple


Think I have it easy, huh? Poor BLM, that nasty, filthy, hyper-sexed fiend breaks his vows, cheats on his wife, and probably kicks the dog too when he gets home! I don't know how good I have it, right? Well, maybe so..but things aren't all peaches and cream...

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I can tell you from my experience, this is true. If I can give any advice to someone who is going to get married, thinking of marriage, is engaged, dating, in love, in lust, wanting to elope, or living together with someone....before taking the plunge, take a look at your potential in-laws.

You're in-laws are the future of your mate. Yes, look at them. Are they odd? Weird? Angry? Your spouse may appear calm and collected at the moment, but given time, that will change.

My in-laws are..on a good day, impossible. They are a nervous bundle of irrational, easily excitable, stressful, inferno of energy.  Heard the weather today? Rain in the forecast? They're freaking that the trees near them will fall, their gutters overflow, the basement flood and that Noah won't be stopping at their house to pick them up. They're on every channel, not surfing for the best shows, but analyzing the Doppler weather more closely than Al Roker.

Heard the news on the latest medical outbreak? They're worried sick over it. Neighbors having a party to celebrate the graduation of their child from College? My in-laws hate those fucking neighbors, those loud, annoying sons-of-bitch kike, nigger, towel head, wops.

My in-laws seemed nice when I met them. Eccentric, yea, maybe, but the stories were entertaining, funny, and they were likable. But, over time those characteristics accentuate..get worse..and now? They're just people you try and ignore..they have no friends, no jobs, no family members that talk to them anymore, no hobbies, no idea how to eat healthy, take care of themselves - either financially or medically. The dosage for the medication they take to calm those nerves need to be increased..doubled, tripled..hell, take it all!

Now, I bring all this fun stuff up, because, yea, I see some of these things appearing in my wife now.  Incidents of minor concern causes needless discussion and worry. I can imagine the contractors at my house rolling their eyes almost as much as I do when she's explaining how she wants something done. The kids are run to the doctor at the first sign of a sniffle. She makes a mountain out of a molehill and she hates the fact that I don't acknowledge the travesty about to befall us all! You guys think I have it don't want to complain..but, it ain't all my fault.

Like her parents, she has little motivation to workout or take care of herself. She dreads it and, frankly, it's starting to show. Eating right for a mid-fourties Mom? There is no diet anymore...snacks and ice-cream are foods of choice. Don't get me wrong, she's a great mother and there's no comparison to how her mother raised her (thank god). But if I look at the future, it ain't a pretty site.

Yes, the apple don't fall far from the tree folks - and some of them apple's are crab apples.



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